– The Holy Guardian Angel. His instruction.1 –
"Because I feel I know I’m alive, that something more inhabits me,
even if what I feel slowly makes me sink into a dark ocean of terror.
Ah, how I wish that the threads that bind me were everlasting,
eternally tying to me the cold, white hands that command them ...”
Incredibly enough, everyone seemed to notice something different about me, which was kind of strange since I’d never realized that other people payed that much attention to my insignificant person. I really didn’t know what to say when my friends asked me what had happened that had left me so hyped up and put me in such a good mood. But that really didn’t matter. I was happy just being able to live in the world that surrounded me again.
The one who seemed to notice it the most was Michael, as to be expected, spending our whole lunch break trying to guess the motive behind my persistent smile. He’d been really worried about me these last few days, or so he told me. He even suspected I might be suffering from depression, from being left all alone after my mom and Gabriel had left, which was possibly the closest thing to the truth from a Human point of view. I felt guilty once more for having worried him unnecessarily, but, as far as I was concerned, even the most negative or painful of feelings were like magical blessings.
We talked, we laughed, we played and shared our plans for the weekend. Once more I found myself having to refuse his invitation to meet on Saturday, using the upcoming exams as an excuse, and we promised to talk on the phone.
The hardest thing was dissuading him from taking me home, as it has become his habit since the Easter holidays. But I just couldn’t risk him seeing something that would hint towards Gabriel’s return, and so I assured him that I felt great and that I had some errands to run before going back.
At the end of the day, Alexander was waiting for me by the school gate. Once more I dreaded the waves of gossip that would arise if my classmates were to see him waiting there since he was hardly inconspicuous. His tall, lean figure, his dark-red hair and his model-like face were all too attractive to simply pass by. But he immediately assured me that no one else could see him, which, with only one glance, I knew to be true. It was still strange, though, thinking that people passed by him as if passing by a tree when I could see him so clearly.
To my relief, he didn’t say a word about our previous talk and, with a friendly smile, told me about all the interesting things he’d seen in school, which made me realize he’d really been watching me the whole day.
Lea was hugging my legs as soon as we got home, making me take two steps back since he’d been running to greet us. I tousled his hair like I usually did and then noticed the other boy, watching us from a distance.
Relief and happiness washed over me when I saw him standing, awake again, but his cold, distant expression immediately reminded me of all that had happened. I felt bad knowing that I hadn’t been able to help him. As far as Jonathan was concerned, he was back in hell. Still I dared give him a smile, but he didn’t even flinch, remaining indifferent as if he couldn’t even see me.
And then Alexander was on the move, passing by me with his wide pace, visibly anxious to reach him. He stopped right in front of him, hesitating before raising a hand and gently placing it on Jonathan’s head. I held my breath, predicting the boy’s reaction to that, but, to my surprise, Jonathan didn’t push him away, quite the opposite, allowing Alexander to pull him close until he had his forehead against his chest.
“They’re always like that,” Lea informed me.
“But Jonathan ... he seemed to fear and resent him so much.”
“Yes. But he also knows that Sigweardiel is the only one who’ll never leave him.”