– Path of Teth.
The Vision of the Fruit of the Great Work of the Beast - 666. The Lion.1 –
“Because I’m not a sun, like you, I wish I were a mirror as clear as crystal,
so that I could reflect your incandescent light ...
However, not even a dull mirror I’m able to be ...
My existence has been marked by a growing dark shadow that devours my being ... and in my pain I know I can never be close to the iridescent sun that you are.”
As soon as I opened the door I heard Lea’s bell coming towards me and I picked him up.
“Hey there! I had the most incredible day!” I told him, still brimming with happiness, and the kitten purred. I took him to the kitchen to feed him and went upstairs for a warm shower.
As usual Gabriel wasn’t at home, which meant I had time for myself. And so I dropped on the bed, hair still wet, and closed my eyes replaying over and over again my wonderful afternoon. In my mind I could feel Michael’s lips caressing my skin, his warmth warming me up, his smile melting my heart ...
Lea’s bell and his sudden weight on my belly brought me back to reality and I smiled at the intrigued eyes that observed me.
“Hum ... Is it time already?” I asked, my brain delightfully dormant, and took a peek at the alarm clock. “Damn! This late already?” I grumbled sitting up and Lea jumped from my lap since it had become dangerously unstable. “I’ll only have time to cook something simple ... Well, I’m not that hungry anyway.” I argued, standing up and left the room followed by Lea’s bell. “How about some frozen lasagna?” I asked as I entered the kitchen and the kitten jumped onto Gabriel’s chair. “You think it’s worth it ...?” I recalled the last two dinners I’d left on the stove and that had remained there, untouched. Lea licked a paw and used it to wash behind his ears. I sighed. “All right, then...” I conceded and took two portions from the freezer.
I didn’t even know if he’d return home. Since our talk, on Friday, that something had changed. In the beginning I hadn’t quite noticed what. During the last week I’d grown used to a certain routine and had, subsequently, started to understand myself better, when I was near him. Of course his presence still disturbed me deeply, leaving me completely terrified but, somehow, I’d been able to come up with some strategies that allowed me to circumvent the situation. And now, suddenly, everything had changed again ... It was as if we’d gone back in time, to a stage even colder and more distant then it had been when our... relationship had begun.
I took a deep breath wondering why that had to bother me, and still I was unable to stop conjecturing about the reasons behind that change. Was it because of our talk? Or did he think our Contract was almost finished?
The timer rang. I opened the oven and took out my dinner. It smelled good and the cheese spread over the pasta was slightly toasted. I turned off the oven and took a plate from the cupboard.
I ate in silence, with Lea as my company while he went on with his hygiene. Then I covered what was left with a piece of cellophane and went up to my room. The small kitten followed me as usual and, nuzzling my pillow, laid down on my bed. I smiled at his bright eyes and followed his example. It was useless thinking about studying and, since awake or a sleep I was inevitably going to dream about Michael, I decided to go to bed earlier.